Principles of economics should be applied more readily to sexual interactions of attraction.
I’m not an economist, but through the course I became friends with the professor. Through discussion he would distill and pick out important material he felt I should learn. One of the principles he taught me was, if everyone is out selling apples, you should sell oranges. Idea behind this clear. Applied to interactions of attraction think about it like this; If every guy is being a ‘nice guy’ then be a bit of a jerk. Channel your inner James Dean, Rebel Without a Cause.
This is a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal. I think the power of this concept comes from being different in an attractive way. I don’t have studies to reference but I would wager, if your dressed 9 guys in black and 1 in white, women would rate the man in white more attractive on account of being different.
Still to the principle of playing to your strengths but don’t be afraid to switch things up. If you and everyone plays guitar, you might be the best guitarist but you’re advantage is diminished by the fact that everyone else plays. Instead, show off your photography skill at taking black and white artistic feminine nudes. All for art, right!
Lastly, don’t take this too far. You might be a house party drinking where everyone is telling drinking stories, but telling a girl about your Avant Garde writing skills is not going to help you. Instead tell her about your crazy drinking story of when you were drunk in Amsterdam and got lost in the red light district.
1. Be Responsible, Always have a Protection
Nothing is worse than getting back, making out, you get into bed and she asks, “Do you have protection?” when you know you don’t. “Umm let me check.” Sorry buddy, you are officially screwed. Bye bye sexy time.
I put protection in every jacket that way if I need it, I have it. Don’t keep them in your wallet; in 6 months when you open it, a little cloud of dust will hit you in the face. If you have to keep it in your pocket, take it out at the end of the night.
2. Get Tested
Get tested. If anyone tries to tell you differently, they are a fucking loser. There is nothing lame about being tested, it’s the most responsible thing you can do. Even curable STIs can leave you infertile if left untreated. So man up and go get tested… It’s free.
I was out at the bar with a few friends, happy to be back on home turf. The bar was full of good looking girls. I’m sitting against the bar enjoying a beer when I make eye contact with a cute blonde and her friend. We hold eye contact triggering my instinct of “Approach her!”. Just to make sure I didn’t miss read her, I turned around to see her still looking at me, smiling as she walked out on to the bar patio to have a smoke.
This is the moment when I should have eaten my fears and say “Hi” to her. But I didn’t, I choked. The rest of the night as we went bar hopping. I was haunted by that missed approach. The stars were alined but I made up some lame ass excuse for not executing. My punishment, was having one golden opportunity slip through my fingers.
If the chance of pulling a fly girl isn’t enough for you, just know for the rest of the night you are going to be haunted by that one missed opportunity. I’ve noticed that when I don’t approach I end up suffering more from missed opportunity that I’ll never have again. Secret I’m sitting here hoping the universe gives me a second shot… not likely. The only way to beat this is to go out and approach, if the odds aren’t as good.
Approach even if the odds are against you. Why? Because you don’t want to go another night slipping into a cold, empty bed with nothing but the thought of missed opportunity. Go to bed kept warm with the embers of having learned a lesson.
You watch it happen. As she begins to fall in love with you and think to yourself, “I’ve been here before”. “You’re so different”, is what she says. But I have never been ‘drunk on love’. whiskey does a fine job, thank you.
Romance wears off quickly today. It isn’t long before we are all bored. I know this particular girl, isn’t “about it”. She doesn’t have the “it” I’m looking for. She hasn’t gotta that _____
Things begin to slowly breakdown, lose speed. I’m half the world away planning my next move… And she knows it. Thats when catatonic becomes real. Even doing everything won’t change anything. I’ve already set sail, It’s only a matter of time before she realizes it too.
The touch of her soft warm skin. The way their hair smells. The taste of her feminine cherry lips. There is so much passion and pleasure to be had. The night is young my friends, be safe.
I’d been wanting to approach her for far too long.
She was standing, smoking a cigarette. “Hey your from…” we had a short exchange. She said I had balls. Her cig was getting short, “hey lets we go get coffee.”, “I have a boyfriend”.
I emailed K and his email said, “Man the Fuck up.” I described the approach as “brutal” and “sucked”. He said…
“Dude, you’re in Halifax, a university town. The land of hormones and alcohol. If you’re going to tell me about a rejection it had better be some sort of epic story where a chick punched you in the balls in the middle of the cafeteria or where some girl puked on you during your attempt or something. A chick telling you that she has a boyfriend should feel like a commonplace everyday occurrence that you don’t even remember.”
After visiting Barcelona a few years back I decided to watch Woody Allan’s Vicky Christina Barcelona. This one scene is a perfect. Perfectly composed, honest and unashamed.
Watch and learn
I checked my inbox the other day with this message in it…
“Just saw this movie and immediately thought of you during this scene (no offense). Here is I think the one of the best principles of game distilled into one sentence by Angelina Jolie. …”
It’s a youtube video from The Tourist when Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp first meet.
[Depp smoking a cigarette] “I’m sorry”
Jolie: “Thats Some what disappointing”
Depp: “Would you rather have me smoking for real?”
J: “I would rather you be a man who did exactly as he pleased”
Angelina Jolie perfectly summarizes what every aspiring man should aim for. Absolute precision,whatever you do, do it with confidence.
We’ve all seen a girl, that in our perspective, is a perfect 10. You desperately want to approach her but fear keeps you away. But, what if she never gets approached and desperate wants to be approached.
“Doing the unrealistic is easier than doing the realistic,” Tim Ferris, The 4-Hour Workweek
I was reminded of this, having coffee with my friend K. Transposing Tim Ferris on to game you get The Perfect 10 Paradox; Most guys don’t think they can pull the 9 or 10 so they go for the 6 and 7s.
“It’s lonely at the top. Ninety-nine percent of people in the world are convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for mediocre. The level of competition is thus fiercest for ‘realistic’ goals, paradoxically making them the most time- and energy-consuming… The fishing is best where the fewest go, and the collective insecurity of the world makes it easy for people to hit home runs while everyone else is aiming for base hits. There is just less competition for bigger goals.” – Tim Ferris
Most guys don’t believe they deserve the best. Instead they go for second best. Girls don’t dress up all sexy for no reason. They want you to notice. Most guys are too scared shitless approach her and if you can, with confidence then you’re already ahead of the competition.
So finally approach that girl who is out of your league. The whole league system is a myth anyway; start acting like it! Today my friend, you are going to approach the apex girl you’re thinking of.
You deserve the best. Act like it.
I don’t know what its like for other people but I can remember a space of time when I knew something had to chance. It was about 6 months after having moved back to Bermuda from Europe. I was a nineteen, still a virgin, never had a girlfriend and no potentials on the horizon. I was reading a website at the time I regularly went on for fashion advice and general material on becoming a man. One day I remember reading an article and I decided to download some material and see what it was.
I started watching video material in December of 2009. I was too lazy to buy a book. I can remember being on a flight back to Bermuda and I was watching a video on my ipod touch. In the video one of the teachers was teaching an exercise of letting go of past failures. I tried being discrete about it, I could tell the next to me was worried. Maybe he thought I was some terrorist preparing for the next life. If he knew what I was in pursuit of, I’m sure he would have understood.
The reason I was watching videos about failure was because of the trip I had just been on. I had JUST learned how to approach girls and I was in the mall when I decided to get some overpriced franchise coffee. I walked inside and there was a tall Barista with short wavy black hair. She had deep eyes that kill me. I placed my order, we shared a moment when our eyes connected but I couldn’t think of anything. So I went and sat down racking my brain for anything.
Finally, I come up with a half decent idea, To write my name and number on the coffee collar. Real killer move, right. She had been shooting me glances the whole time I was drinking my coffee. When she had a free minute I got up walked over, said “I think something is wrong with my coffee collar. Maybe you could take a look and get back to me.” I say it with a smirk over my face. I laugh looking back and I’m surprised she texted me! We set up a time and place to meet. And it almost worked.
Any chance I got to visit the mall or text her, I did. I was on a family trip… so I was bored out of my mind. Unsurprisingly she flaked like any smart girl would to a guy she met randomly. Unfortunately, it didn’t end there. When I got back home the two of us started messaging each other. Our messages were between 4 and 8 paragraphs. She had a way with words like nobody I’d ever met to that point in my life. I’m after a few weeks of talking I told her that I was really into her. As you can imagine it was like dropping a toaster in the bathtub; my brain and my chances with this girl were in that bathtub…. Dead.
It was at this time I was learning how to flirt. But who could help me? Thats when I remembered someone I hadn’t seen in quite sometime, my friend K. He had always been real chill, easy to get along with guy. I sent him a message saying we should hangout sometime; I think I intimated needing help in the area of girls. K was a real friend about the whole thing. From day 1 he said, I need to pursue what I enjoy doing. And one of those things is blogging. And that’s where Breaking Beta came from!
Last weekend was gonna be my weekend off. I wasn’t going to the bars or to any clubs. I was going be with friends shooting the shit. Oh if I had only known…
Friday night I was at Con Man’s yard when around 11 I get a text from a girl I had been friends with. She was going to “smoke up” over my other friends yard. When Opportunity presents its self you have to go for it! It worked perfect. I just wish I had a towel because I had sand EVERYWHERE. Even after a two showers and cleaning my room for half an hour i am still finding sand! I basically was driving this girl when I remembered a certain “game play”. So I ran it and it was working great. I was sitting on the beach with her and the awkward silence was about to hit. Conversation had exhausted and I had to make my move. I had been in this very situation last week and I didn’t make my move. Well I made my play and it was quite the experience. I finally have lost my virginity at age 20 and have finally joined the club! After awhile I told her I needed to get washed off so we went back to her house and did the dirty dirty. Too bad I didn’t get to stay over. I hate the 4:45 drive home.
Saturday night Me and a few buddies went to a beach party. We passed two girls on the other side of the road outside the party area. Con Man tried to open with “hey you girls headed to the party?” it bombed. So after our walk we go back inside and they’re on the opposite side of the bar. Still riding the high from the night before I go up to them and open with the “who lie more” opener. They don’t even answer the question, they just start talking and asking questions. Guess it’s true, it doesn’t matter what you say, as long as you talk.
At first it was hard getting their trust but after awhile of them getting to know me I did the hand keno test and it worked flawlessly.
Either way the night wrapped up nicely back at a friends house just chillin laughing about the night.