Lesson #5: Respectful but unapologetic
Lesson #5: Respectful but unapologetic
Lesson #4: Confidence in the Face of Adversity
Be Confident, humble and honest.
Honest. Interesting. Confident. Unflustered.
A – always
B – be
C – closing
Lesson #1: Confidence.
Be confident and quit approval seeking. Whatever you do, do it deliberately and with conviction.
I’m not an economist, but through the course I became friends with the professor. Through discussion he would distill and pick out important material he felt I should learn. One of the principles he taught me was, if everyone is out selling apples, you should sell oranges. Idea behind this clear. Applied to interactions of attraction think about it like this; If every guy is being a ‘nice guy’ then be a bit of a jerk. Channel your inner James Dean – Rebel Without a Cause.
This is a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal. I think the power of this concept comes from standing out in an attractive way. I don’t have studies to reference, but I would wager if you dressed 9 guys in black and 1 in white, women would rate the man in white more attractive than the others on account of wearing a different color.
Still to the principle of playing to your strengths but don’t be afraid to switch things up. If you and everyone plays guitar, you might be the best guitarist but you’re advantage is diminished by the fact that everyone else plays. Instead, show off your photography skill at taking artistic black and white photos.
Lastly, don’t take this too far. You might be a house party drinking where everyone is telling drinking stories, but telling a girl about your Avant Garde writing skills is not going to help you. Don’t leave the preverbal Conversation Neighborhood, just walk down a more interesting avenue than everyone else.
Nothing is worse than getting back, making out, you get into bed and she asks, “Do you have protection?” when you know you don’t. “Umm let me check.” Sorry buddy, you are out of luck.
I put protection in every jacket that way if I need it, I have it. Don’t keep them in your wallet; in 6 months when you open it, a little cloud of dust will hit you in the face. If you have to keep it in your pocket, take it out at the end of the night.
2. Get Tested
Get tested. If anyone tries to tell you differently, they are a fucking loser. There is nothing lame about being tested, it’s the most responsible thing you can do. Even curable STIs can leave you infertile if left untreated. So man up and go get tested… It’s free.
I was out at the bar with a few friends, happy to be back on home turf. The bar was full of good looking girls. I’m sitting against the bar enjoying a beer when I make eye contact with a cute blonde and her friend. We hold eye contact triggering my instinct of “Approach her!”. Just to make sure I didn’t miss read her, I turned around to see her still looking at me, smiling as she walked out on to the bar patio to have a smoke.
This is the moment when I should have eaten my fears and say “Hi” to her. But I didn’t, I choked. The rest of the night as we went bar hopping. I was haunted by that missed approach. The stars were alined but I made up some lame ass excuse for not executing. My punishment, was having one golden opportunity slip through my fingers.
If the chance of pulling a cute girl isn’t enough for you, just know for the rest of the night you are going to be haunted by that one missed opportunity. I’ve noticed that when I don’t approach I end up suffering more from missed opportunity that I’ll never have again. Secret I’m sitting here hoping the universe gives me a second shot… not likely. The only way to beat this is to go out and approach, if the odds aren’t as good.
Approach even if the odds are against you. Why? Because you don’t want to go another night with nothing but the thought of missed opportunity. Go to bed kept warm with the embers of having learned a lesson.
She was standing, smoking a cigarette. “Hey your from…” we had a short exchange. She said I had balls. Her cig was getting short, “hey lets we go get coffee.”, “I have a boyfriend”.
I emailed K and his email said, “Man the Fuck up.” I described the approach as “brutal” and “sucked”. He said…
“Dude, you’re in Halifax, a university town. The land of hormones and alcohol. If you’re going to tell me about a rejection it had better be some sort of epic story where a chick punched you in the balls in the middle of the cafeteria or where some girl puked on you during your attempt or something. A chick telling you that she has a boyfriend should feel like a commonplace everyday occurrence that you don’t even remember.”