I’ve been having a busy month so far; the first couple weeks of university always are. Fine fly college girls are everywhere. Still early enough in the year that girls are trying with their outfits and still warm enough for booty shorts.
I’ve been checking a cute little redhead I met off Tinder. She’s into me and I like her too but it’s still too early to say.
Besides that been laying some solid ground work with some other fly girls. Had a rager party the other night when I had a seriously awkward moment with a group of girls. One of them I turned down 2 years ago, one I slept with 3 years ago, one I asked out at the gym 3 years ago (she was seeing someone at the time), and the fourth girl I went out with her best friend a couple times.
Drake knew the struggle when he said “Cause I just seem my ex girl standing with my next girl standing with the one that I’m fucking right now.”
I must have done something right because they invited me to their house party next week. Shit could get interesting.
Been digging on a couple of tracks from G-Eazy’s “These Things Happen”.
To most of you this will be a no brainer.
Do not smoke on the first date unless she smokes regularly or brings it up first.
Complacency has been an all too common characteristic in my life. When it comes to the opposite sex, I consider myself in the mid-range when it comes to interaction. I am capable of ‘making it happen’ but not hungry enough to be consistent. When I’ve gone out or been to parties, I get stuck in my own head. Instead of making friends or striking up a conversation, I let the proud little voice in my head convince me “I’m better than this”. This is a lethal mindset. Not only because it’s proud and dickish, it also bets on a future that allows you to escape the accountability of the Now.
“Tomorrow’s party will have better people I want to talk to.”
“This place sucks, I can’t wait to go to [insert: Blank] where I’ll find way better girls.”
“I could get these girl if I really wanted to.”
This mindset reminds me of my favorite bar sign- “Free Beer tomorrow!” Tomorrow is both now and a future that never arrives.
The lesson for me and you is that being friendly at a party makes things more fun for yourself and everyone around you. You have a lot more to lose looking bored and shy than you do being boisterous and friendly. Even if you are nervous, trying to pull off the ‘stoic look’ leaves you dependent on the other person to make interesting conversation. You will likely come off more as a black hole of social-energy, lacking anything interesting or exciting. On the flipside, being bold and a little bit boisterous makes it easier getting to know people. You look more fun, interesting, and you have the upper-hand having made conversation. Don’t think about it like lame social-engineering, think about what will gain friends and maximize your fun. Fuck trying to look ‘cool’ let’s just go have fun!
It was the last leg of my flight back home to my East Coast spot. The flight was scheduled for 3 hours worth of delays. Nobody was enjoying this. Even worse, the terminal was a tiny tin can. And then all of the sudden the delay went from 10:45pm to 9:15pm; they gave us a new plane.
The plane was seated for 50 people. I went from one small tin can to another. But while boarding I noticed the flight attendant was astonishingly attractive. Curly hair, beautiful eyes and a couple other features I liked. Once our flight was underway she came by and took my order. I told her to bring me two cups because I was so parched. She mentioned noticing me in the terminal and we made small talk. It was at this point that she “Gave me the look”.
That look that tells you the ball is in your court. She doesn’t unleash those pretty eyes like that on just anyone; she meant to do that.
After the second time I knew what I had to do. I pulled out my moleskine. Ripped off a piece of grid paper, wrote her a note saying I’d like to get to know her and she should message me. I didn’t want to embarrass her on the job so I slipped the note into a folded two-dollar bill. She told me that she wanted visit the country where I have my other house, so I used giving her the bill as a discreet way of giving her the note.
This happened recently so we’ll have to wait and see what happens next time she visits my city. We’re messaging with positive vibes so I’ll treat her right and we’ll wait and see!
Principles of economics should be applied more readily to sexual interactions of attraction.
I’m not an economist, but through the course I became friends with the professor. Through discussion he would distill and pick out important material he felt I should learn. One of the principles he taught me was, if everyone is out selling apples, you should sell oranges. Idea behind this clear. Applied to interactions of attraction think about it like this; If every guy is being a ‘nice guy’ then be a bit of a jerk. Channel your inner James Dean – Rebel Without a Cause.
This is a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal. I think the power of this concept comes from standing out in an attractive way. I don’t have studies to reference, but I would wager if you dressed 9 guys in black and 1 in white, women would rate the man in white more attractive than the others on account of wearing a different color.
Still to the principle of playing to your strengths but don’t be afraid to switch things up. If you and everyone plays guitar, you might be the best guitarist but you’re advantage is diminished by the fact that everyone else plays. Instead, show off your photography skill at taking artistic black and white photos.
Lastly, don’t take this too far. You might be a house party drinking where everyone is telling drinking stories, but telling a girl about your Avant Garde writing skills is not going to help you. Don’t leave the preverbal Conversation Neighborhood, just walk down a more interesting avenue than everyone else.
1. Be Responsible, Always have a Protection
Nothing is worse than getting back, making out, you get into bed and she asks, “Do you have protection?” when you know you don’t. “Umm let me check.” Sorry buddy, you are out of luck.
I put protection in every jacket that way if I need it, I have it. Don’t keep them in your wallet; in 6 months when you open it, a little cloud of dust will hit you in the face. If you have to keep it in your pocket, take it out at the end of the night.
2. Get Tested
Get tested. If anyone tries to tell you differently, they are a fucking loser. There is nothing lame about being tested, it’s the most responsible thing you can do. Even curable STIs can leave you infertile if left untreated. So man up and go get tested… It’s free.
I was out at the bar with a few friends, happy to be back on home turf. The bar was full of good looking girls. I’m sitting against the bar enjoying a beer when I make eye contact with a cute blonde and her friend. We hold eye contact triggering my instinct of “Approach her!”. Just to make sure I didn’t miss read her, I turned around to see her still looking at me, smiling as she walked out on to the bar patio to have a smoke.
This is the moment when I should have eaten my fears and say “Hi” to her. But I didn’t, I choked. The rest of the night as we went bar hopping. I was haunted by that missed approach. The stars were alined but I made up some lame ass excuse for not executing. My punishment, was having one golden opportunity slip through my fingers.
If the chance of pulling a cute girl isn’t enough for you, just know for the rest of the night you are going to be haunted by that one missed opportunity. I’ve noticed that when I don’t approach I end up suffering more from missed opportunity that I’ll never have again. Secret I’m sitting here hoping the universe gives me a second shot… not likely. The only way to beat this is to go out and approach, if the odds aren’t as good.
Approach even if the odds are against you. Why? Because you don’t want to go another night with nothing but the thought of missed opportunity. Go to bed kept warm with the embers of having learned a lesson.