Breaking Beta

The Journey of a Man

Tag: teaching

What Not to do on a First Date

To most of you this will be a no brainer.

 

Do not smoke on the first date unless she smokes regularly or brings it up first.

 

The Most Lethal Mindset You Could Have

Complacency has been an all too common characteristic in my life. When it comes to the opposite sex, I consider myself in the mid-range when it comes to interaction. I am capable of ‘making it happen’ but not hungry enough to be consistent. When I’ve gone out or been to parties, I get stuck in my own head. Instead of making friends or striking up a conversation, I let the proud little voice in my head convince me “I’m better than this”. This is a lethal mindset.  Not only because it’s proud and dickish, it also bets on a future that allows you to escape the accountability of the Now.

“Tomorrow’s party will have better people I want to talk to.”
“This place sucks, I can’t wait to go to [insert: Blank] where I’ll find way better girls.”
“I could get these girl if I really wanted to.”

This mindset reminds me of my favorite bar sign- “Free Beer tomorrow!” Tomorrow is both now and a future that never arrives.

The lesson for me and you is that being friendly at a party makes things more fun for yourself and everyone around you.  You have a lot more to lose looking bored and shy than you do being boisterous and friendly. Even if you are nervous, trying to pull off the ‘stoic look’ leaves you dependent on the other person to make interesting conversation. You will likely come off more as a black hole of social-energy, lacking anything interesting or exciting. On the flipside, being bold and a little bit boisterous makes it easier getting to know people. You look more fun, interesting, and you have the upper-hand having made conversation. Don’t think about it like lame social-engineering, think about what will gain friends and maximize your fun. Fuck trying to look ‘cool’ let’s just go have fun!

If Everyone is Selling Apples, Sell Oranges.

 tumblr_mt8qsqBH8t1rl6cw1o1_500Principles of economics should be applied more readily to sexual interactions of attraction.

 

I’m not an economist, but through the course I became friends with the professor. Through discussion he would distill and pick out important material he felt I should learn. One of the principles he taught me was, if everyone is out selling apples, you should sell oranges. Idea behind this clear. Applied to interactions of attraction think about it like this; If every guy is being a ‘nice guy’ then be a bit of a jerk. Channel your inner James Dean – Rebel Without a Cause.

This is a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal. I think the power of this concept comes from standing out in an attractive way. I don’t have studies to reference, but I would wager if you dressed 9 guys in black and 1 in white, women would rate the man in white more attractive than the others on account of wearing a different color.

Still to the principle of playing to your strengths but don’t be afraid to switch things up. If you and everyone plays guitar, you might be the best guitarist but you’re advantage is diminished by the fact that everyone else plays. Instead, show off your photography skill at taking artistic black and white photos.

Lastly, don’t take this too far. You might be a house party drinking where everyone is telling drinking stories, but telling a girl about your Avant Garde writing skills is not going to help you. Don’t leave the preverbal Conversation Neighborhood, just walk down a more interesting avenue than everyone else.

 

The Two Basic Rules

muhammad-ali-training-underwater-in-miami1. Be Responsible, Always have a Protection

Nothing is worse than getting back,  making out, you get into bed and she asks, “Do you have protection?” when you know you don’t. “Umm let me check.” Sorry buddy, you are out of luck.

I put protection in every jacket that way if I need it, I have it. Don’t keep them in your wallet; in 6 months when you open it, a little cloud of dust will hit you in the face. If you have to keep it in your pocket, take it out at the end of the night.

 

2. Get Tested
Get tested. If anyone tries to tell you differently, they are a fucking loser. There is nothing lame about being tested, it’s the most responsible thing you can do. Even curable STIs can leave you infertile if left untreated. So man  up and go get tested… It’s free.

The Paradox of the Most Beautiful Woman

5259c9e8ab074d0779c8cafdf9e4-postWe’ve all seen a girl, that in our perspective, is a perfect 10. You desperately want to approach her but fear keeps you away. But, what if she never gets approached and desperate wants to be approached.

Doing the unrealistic is easier than doing the realistic,Tim Ferris, The 4-Hour Workweek

I was reminded of this, having coffee with my friend K. Transposing Tim Ferris on to game you get The Perfect 10 Paradox; Most guys don’t think they can pull the 9 or 10 so they go for the 6 and 7s.

It’s lonely at the top. Ninety-nine percent of people in the world are convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for mediocre. The level of competition is thus fiercest for ‘realistic’ goals, paradoxically making them the most time- and energy-consuming… The fishing is best where the fewest go, and the collective insecurity of the world makes it easy for people to hit home runs while everyone else is aiming for base hits. There is just less competition for bigger goals.” – Tim Ferris

Most guys don’t believe they deserve the best. Instead they go for second best. Girls don’t dress up all sexy for no reason. They want you to notice. Most guys are too scared shitless approach her and if you can, with confidence then you’re already ahead of the competition.

So finally approach that girl who is out of your league. The whole league system is a myth anyway; start acting like it! Today my friend, you are going to approach the apex girl you’re thinking of.

You deserve the best. Act like it.

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